It’s Called Manners, Kanye

Sunday, I spent several hours sitting with a friend at a bar. And while that last sentence was my most used excuse in my 20’s for why I hadn’t called my mother in months, it happens to be a now rare event. The crowd was younger, better looking and far less adventuresome in their beverage choices (there was a concerning amount of Prosecco being passed around the Gen Z crowd). How glorious it was to people watch, sip something Irish and take the piss out of a bartender once again.

“Kyle” was young (23?), Hermosa Beach good looking and from Michigan. As my friend and I bellied up to the bar, he was all compliments and cute comebacks. He up sold my friend on the 23 oz. and skillfully poured my Guinness.

To his credit, Kyle’s knowledge of Tom Brady was impressive, his tales of life in Redondo beach expected, but it wasn’t until my friend stepped away that Kyle and I bonded.

“You know,” he said, handing me my refilled water glass. “My boy got into a lot of trouble when he stepped up to call it like it is to Taylor Swift.”

RULES FOR TENDING TO GEN X CUSTOMERS AT YOUR BAR

1. Be selective on what topic you choose to eavesdrop and then use to connect with us. While we appreciate your dedication to the service, and your tip, don’t be so presumptuous to think that we don’t see behind the curtain.

2. While there is a high percentage of possibility that we have more LL Cool J then Lil Nas X on our Spotify playlists, don’t think for a second that we aren’t savvy enough to know who dissed our girl T Swizzle.

“Ah,” I said. “I see. So you agree with Kanye and feel like his behavior at the 2009 VMA awards was appropriate?”

3. Don’t play with us. While our young parent selves might have been Dora deep in 2009, we still knew why Lady Gaga was covered in blood, and why you’re so 2,000 and late. We’re the Latch-Key Kid Generation, my friend. No one knows more about pop culture and MTV than we do.

Kyle silently blinked back for a second too long, then said, “He had a right to speak his mind. I just don’t think he should have gotten shit for it.”

4. Know your audience. I’m a woman with (an incredibly awesome) grey (streak) in her hair. I’m wearing glitter and the Buddha on my tshirt. Am I going to argue that anyone has the right to speak their mind? Do you think I will praise a man for jumping in front of a woman while she is receiving her award?

This was really too easy.

“You, my friend, have a point. Beyoncé’s video was quite epic, especially given that it has been widely parodied and imitated—I myself made four little girls perform it at a wedding…” At this point, “Kyle” smiled warily. Sure I agreed with him, but something told him more was coming. So much more.

“…however even if his statement was true, does this mean he has the right to jump in front of Taylor, as she is receiving her award, and declare that someone else’s work was better? Don’t you think it invalidates his remark and calls his character into question simply because his actions were more impolite than justified? And what is it that everyone remembers? That Beyoncé’s video was more deserving because Kanye said so, or that the dude has no manners?”

He gave me the exact same look my kids give me when my lecture on recycling rounds the three minute mark. He knew I was right, but was also really not stoked on my delivery. I felt bad. And guilty. And old.

“Look,” I said. “Kanye is fierce. I’m excited to watch his documentary on Netflix. I don’t know enough about him.”

His face lit up. “Oh! It’s excellent. I’ve been following his career for forever and I’m just sad they didn’t cover….” and off he went. We discussed how Kanye rose to stardom as a teen. The parallels between the documentaries “Jeen-Yuhs” and “The Last Dance”. By the time my friend returned to the bar, I was on my third water and Kyle was finding ways to pour drinks for other customers, but return to our conversation.

“Where are you from?” my friend asked him.

“Michigan,” Kyle replied. “I left because the winters are the worst.”

“Does it get cold in Michigan?” my friend goaded.

5. We Gen X’ers are sarcastic assholes.