I’m typing this on the first desktop computer I’ve owned since the 90’s, on a desk stocked with Uni Ball pens and my glitter collection, in my very own office with my very own door. I’ve been dreaming of this moment for months.

Lesson #3 of Nervous Breakdowns: Ignore your sick child.

When I found myself choking back sobs as Wilson the volleyball floated away on screen, I knew it was time.

Yesterday I watched a man have a mini panic attack in the grocery store. He wandered into this aisle and stopped dead before the lone super pack of toilet paper. Judging by the look on his face he’d just vomited in his mouth a little.

Please reach out to one person in your life this holiday season who is a total pain in the ass.

In all of my excitement and anticipation at sharing the magic of a night under the stars dancing amidst hundreds of ecstatic people I lost sight of one key factor: my 12 year old can’t do concerts.